Rimworld: Side Hustle

Article is in progress by MrAltissimo

Link to series: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLNWGkqCSwkOHA4YJ3KMWJf-Rv48LpuN16

Production Notes:

Series started on Feb. 28, 2021, and ended on Mar. 19, 2021 running for 20 episodes.

Plot

Making as much profit as possible, selling to drugs to just about everybody, whilst exploiting whoever the colonists can capture as slave laborers, working the fields in a rain forest.

Important Mods/Theme

A series based on “pure stonks”, “big high profits for big, high people”, no trade ships where everything is hand-delivered by Fat Larry and his crew with a smile. This series features the Empires mod and a whole bunch of drugs-related mods. No embrasures, no kill boxes, no fancy turrets, and no security mods. The return of Semi-random research and Rim-bees.

Scenario

1)   Make fuckin’ stonks with drugs.

2)   Have all the characters from the side series on the second channel.

3)   A really tall fence, and a rainforest to stand between Legal Lee’s drugs and the Feds.

Goals

1)   “Make $1,000,000 Rimworld dollars.”

All Characters

Characters introduced in order of appearance:

1)   Dong Excellente¹ (make character page, make character name a hyperlink to said page)

2)   Caius Cosades¹

3)   Larry “Fat Larry” Potter¹

4)   Slowna Benanius¹

5)   Lee “Legal Lee” Perrins¹

6)   Crack Joris¹, we don’t talk about Crack Joris

7)   Mushinto Takamu, 7^th of Jugust, 5500. Killed 9th of Decembary, 5500.

8) Minyoung “Min” Kim, 4^th of Decembary, 5500.

9) Ralph “Humps” (Renamed Twinbornmink) Brock, 1^st of Jugust, 5501

10) Zachary “Zebo” (renamed Firbael) Edson, 3^rd of Septober, 5501

Factions

1)   Legal Lee’s Legal Bees

2)   Dominion of the Sun

3)   The Agency

4)   Teddio

5)   Allnotcolium

6)   Cangada Covenant

7)   Coastal Townsfolk of Night River

8)   Coffer Shore

9)   The Razors

10) Automated Disposal Mechhive Kilo

Series Summary

Where some unnamed YouTube channels raised $1,000,000 in Rimworld via “the American way through cold, hard industry, unfeeling, uncaring monopolies, and most likely an underpaid working class”. Legal Lee and the crew did things “the good ol’ fashioned British way, by peddling drugs to nations, and destroy their society, all for profit.” sips tea ;)

Summary by Episode

Episode 1 “Perfectly Legal Stonks”.

1^st of Aprimay, 5500, “Legal Lee, lawyer, businessman, and all-around stone-cold killer, turns his attention to bigger and grander pursuits, with bigger and grander profits. Having hired a hit squad of seemingly random and unrelated characters, the team heads to the deepest rainforest in a relatively unguarded and quiet Rimworld. Big drug, big stonk, big Legal Lee.” Some moments that Legal Lee recalls are when Fat Larry calmed down Slowna and stopped her from pigging out on food. “No unreserved water sources of the highest available quality.” “Fat Larry has damaged wooden bar stool (good 41%0 due to their weight or strange posture.” “Disappointing baboon.” Lee established “Lee’s Lawn” on the 13^th of Aprimay. The crew finally planted the first crops of “product” on the 3^rd of Jugust. Legal Lee was taken aback when he heard the Slowna had pursued Caius as a lover by “exaggerating her own leg hair”, to which Caius responded well. The first successful harvest of “product” was on the 9^th of Jugust. Then, the Power Rangers arrived…

Episode 2 "Mechanoids Filled with FIRE"

We rejoin Legal Lee and crew on the 10^th of Jugust, 5500 as the Power Rangers begin to setup their siege of the colony. Lee was astounded by the irony that the mercenaries intended to use artillery constructed of hemp, having to “fight drugs with drugs”. However, Lee was pulled back from his disappointment when realizing they intended to use napalm on the colony. Then, seemingly out of nowhere, Lee was taken aback once more as Fat Larry decided to put on a dead man’s cloth waistcloth but then went over to inspect the remaining mercenary. Minyoung “Min” Kim was taken back to the colony by Caius to be recruited into the colony. On the 3^rd of Septober we were attacked by the Mechanoids, they immediately attacked Mushinto before we could regroup and cover him. Other than Caius’ right middle toe, there weren’t many losses we couldn’t recover from. Legal Lee was confused one day as he couldn’t find his trademark yellow suit. On a more positive note, I saw Caius propose to Slowna on the 9^th of Septober, I can’t wait for the wedding, but I don’t know where they’ll have it. We got a new arrival at the camp, a massive rhino, much easier to say than uintatherium, called Destruction. The other wildlife is becoming a bit of a nuisance, panthers won’t leave Caius alone and a gorilla went after Slowna! We may need to go and place some fences around the crops, we got a neutrolope that came down with the flu, but they were also high off magic mushrooms. On the 3^rd of Decembary, we began work on researching how to drill for oil in order to diversify our sources of income and make the fronts look more legitimate. The next day, we were able to bring Min into the colony and a few days later became Legal Lee’s lover. On the 9^th of Decembary we were assaulted by the Mechanoids again, but these looked different, when Fat Larry shot and destroyed one of them it blew and killed Mushinto along with it. Later on the 1^st of Aprimay, 5501, we established the Internship Mines where we can send our “interns” to generate some wealth for us. The next day, we began work developing the infrastructure for our big oil division. Some outlanders from Teddio decided to attack us, they didn’t give us too much trouble if anything trying to fight while that fog machine the pirates put down was more of an issue, but we did manage to capture one of them to put to work later…

Episode 3 “Fat Larry’s Fat Oil & Walls of Pure Drugs"

Dong appears to enjoy his new role as colony nurse. Caius also seems to be very diligent in watching over the mercenary that was captured in a previous raid. The colony is immediately beset by raiders but a few days later we were able to build the oil tanks, once we have enough power we can begin to drill. Legal Lee and Min shared their marriage ceremony on the 14^th of Aprimay, 5501 and that day would be the happiest for either of them going forward. Legal Lee sent Fat Larry, Dong, and Slowna to take out the fog machine setup by the pirates, Dong suffered a grievous injury where his leg was cut off by a knife. After the group returned, the colony was assaulted by another group of Mechanoids where Min suffered multiple injuries. We were raided by the Feds on the 12^th of Jugust, once again they planned to use artillery, but it didn’t work, in the end though we captured one of them to put to work or at least hold as a hostage. On the 3^rd of Septober, we recruited the hostage name Zachary Edson, nicknamed “Zebo” who had a very fancy hat. We officially kicked off Fat Larry’s Big Fat Oil division on the 6^th of Septober, where the motto is “Fuck Nature, but not all of it, some of it is very acceptable”. 3 people crashed into the rainforest in a space pod that Dong began to tend to, whether we send them to the mines or hold here will be to the future to decide. They were in fact, all sent to the mines. We established a hamlet called Slowna’s Loaner in a temperate forest area in the mountains on the 12^th of Decembary, 5501 where they were tasked with sending hempcrete blocks as a tithe. Chapo the rhino hasn’t had the best luck with health lately, first suffering a heart attack and now they’ve come down with the plague. On the 2^nd of Aprimay, 5502, we set out to destroy a crash-landed Mechanoid ship that was causing environmental destruction and was nearing the colony where for the most part we didn’t suffer any major casualties, except for Min who lost a leg. At this point Min is barely holding themselves together, having lost their right arm, right lung, and left ring finger previously. Between the arrival of 15,000 hempcrete blocks and being able to place solid fields down for the products, things were looking pretty good around Fat Larry’s Litterbox.

Trivia

·     The main characters of this series were comprised of characters that had appeared across numerous series on the second channel. These included: Morrowind OpenMW, Vampire the Masquerade: Bloodlines, TES: IV – Oblivion 2021 (Bevilex Modpack), and Saints Row II 2021.

·     The randomly generated faction name was “Laverwado Non-technologist Accord”, and the randomly generated community name was “Sprayberry”. These are changed to “Legal Lee’s Legal Bees” and “Fat Larry’s Litterbox”, respectively on the 9^th of Aprimay.

·     Destruction the uintatherium was not as intimidating as one would hope for.

·     In two episodes, the colony wealth exceeded the colony wealth from the penultimate episode of the previous series.

·     Neutrolope 2 gave away Min at her wedding to Legal Lee.

·     At the time of this series, there was no dedicated Egyptian style mod.

·     Bees do not, in fact, work in the rain.

·     Zebo and Pablo the gorilla does not, in fact, have the best working relationship.

·     Crack Joris is strong enough to carry Fat Larry.

·     Fat Larry does not have the upper body strength, nor the proper cardiovascular health to help prevent fires.

¹ – denotes starting party of colonists